For one reason or another, I feel like crying. I just feel so far from God, probably because qt have not been done 7 days a week. I realised that I really can't go on without Him. With Him around, the feelings are gone. Without Him, the feelings somehow came back. I don't want to love you this way. But though my mind says so, my heart chooses to rebel against me. Prob because Lu knows that I'm away from God, he attacks me at my vulnerable. Must be so. Lu knows nothing inside, he's just guessing my thoughts according to what I do, my physical going arounds. The heart is really a deceitful and cunning organ. No wonder the bible says so.